Searching for Perspective

Next week, I will be sitting on my couch in my living room, and I will think of a far better way to write this Insider. It’s a vicious condition- overthinking. It’s been like a shadow for my whole life and almost every cure feels only temporary. I do remember, however, the first time I felt genuine reprieve: the week after my first time at church. 

I was recently reminded of this experience in the surprising setting of my Intro to Evolution class. Our professor began our 8:30am by tasking us with something typically discouraged by instructors: guessing. She gave us many situations, all of which were unique but had one common goal of providing us with perspective.

One of these scenarios took place in the Grand Canyon, where she asked us how long we expected it to take for the canyons to fill entirely with pennies if you threw one in, nonstop, every second. Many guesses were expressed, all being higher than 500 million years. The answer was 37.75 million. As she went on with the others and our answers continued to be inaccurate, I couldn’t stop thinking about how wrong we all were. It was dumbfounding, honestly, how easily I convinced myself of a conclusion that was millions of years off, and to feel how paralyzingly extensive my answer options were.

I think this lesson stuck with me because as an overthinker, perspective is crucial- especially when you’re approaching problems alone. It can mean the difference between constant anxiety or peace. So when I’m tackling my fears and worries, the way I greet them matters. The tools I have in my belt matter, and the faith I refer back to matters. Which is likely why I tended to fail so miserably when managing problems as an atheist. There was no faith. 

After that first time at church, overthinking became more easily dismissed than I ever imagined it would be. I can count on God’s plan, His timing, and His omniscience to carry me through my thoughts. My perspective has forever changed. Since becoming a Christian, I’ve been blessed with opportunities left and right- the most recent being an intern position at the Study Center (which is also full of people who remind me to lean on my faith). So next week, when I’m sitting on my living room couch, I’ll overthink. Probably even reread this. Right before reminding myself that I’m not alone, and to search for some perspective.